Every time I’m in a weird mood I think of Dennis Hopper saying, “The whim of a mad man.” From SPEED. 1994’s SPEED. Not to be confused with the television network, or the drug.
Making a new movie called Pooper. It’s about Bruce Willis and J.G.L. stuck in a porta-potty for twenty-four hours with six pizzas, a bag of dead batteries, Colin Farrell, and ONE roll of toilet paper. Disney has signed on.
There are a certain number of Slim Jims you can eat (eight) before you are sick of them forever. You like them just fine, but after the eighth Slim Jim in your lifetime, a small gland in your body stores the craving for them into a dark hole where forgotten flavors go to die.
Teen Wolf + Time Cop= TIME WOLF
Weekend at Bernie’s + Bernie = BERNIE AT BERNIE’S
Jurassic Park + Jury Duty = JURASSIC DUTY
The Postman + Jaws = THE JAWS
Sex & The City: The Movie + Simon Birch = HILARIOUS
If I were on the Sons of Anarchy, my character’s name would likely be Harvey Pittles. I would work in the garage part-time, and have a weekend gig at Target stocking shelves in the “Patio Furniture-Accessory” Section. I’d have a slight limp, that was only noticeable to close friends and family, and I’d have a ferret named Rafferty.
Q: Where do most Zombies live?
A: On DEAD end streets! hahahahahahahaha :P LOL hahaha(picks up loaded gun) hahahahaha ohhh hahaha(puts to head) haha lmfao HAHAHA(pulls trigger. dies. wife comes in. time passes. will is read after funeral. will is as follows:
Bill- My entire set of Fraggle Rock DVDs (home-made), and a vinyl copy of the Beverly Hills Cop theme song sung by the Brooklyn Heights Children’s Choir.
Frank- My collection of In Bruges rolling pins! One character from In Bruges painted on each rolling pin! (four total)
Hammish- A half eaten tuna fish sandwich, and a bag of hair. fuck you Hammish.
Stetson- A football helmet filled with cement. To be used as weapon, or decoration. NEVER BOTH.
The New York Mets- A CLUE. HAHAHAHAHAHA (rises from grave.) muahahahahahahahaha(realizes he is some sort of god) aaahaha lol lololol (transcends life, and the universe. still loves KFC))
Thanks for playing guys. Your parting gifts include the sound of children crying forever, and 14 REAL Gremlins. DO NOT GET THEM WET! ;) Winx. See yall around XMAS!
SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR